Fireflies

I had this great post forming in my head about nature, Charlotte Mason, and child led learning. I will get to that but something came up.

We strive to live an intentional life. We try to focus on the moment and celebrate the ordinary. Of course, we slip out of that and let concerns and the what will happen of tomorrow slip in. Recently I had a major health scare in my life. It was the catalyst for a sharp refocusing of what is truly important.

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.

                     Robert Herrick

I am not trying to be morbid or shocking but we would do well to realize we have a very limited time here in this world. Although we all need to find a way to support ourselves and care for our responsibilities, I think it would be wise to truly review our lives and decide if our wants and needs are legitimate or if we might just be mixing them up a bit. When I thought I might lose my life I didn't think of the cars I wouldn't get to drive or the homes I wouldn't own. I didn't regret the luxuries I didn't sample. Nope, all I could think of was I wanted more time with those I loved. I wanted more time to develop deeper and more authentic relationships. It was ALL I wanted. Nothing else. Crazy how it all comes together in an instant.

Last night before bed my daughter saw the age old dance of the fireflies begin in our backyard. Bedtime was pushed back so we could all go stand on the back stairs in the dark to watch this beloved memory of childhood. As we stood in reverent silence I found I watched my children's faces more than the light show. It was magical. Their beautiful faces lit up with animation as they watched.

I told my daughter some people believed they were fairies and could grant your wishes. She whispered quietly in awe, "Oh we are so lucky. We are so lucky to be here. We are just so lucky to see this."

Yes baby, yes we are.

First of Spring and Reconnection

So you have probably heard me fussing about this past winter. It was very hard on our family. For the first time my winter blues skyrocketed to the point I was concerned. I think John was starting to be concerned as well. Since I set the mood for the family, in general, it made this season hard on everyone. But we made it through and we are okay.

With that in mind, our thoughts have been on the beginning of spring. Hannah was fascinated with the idea of the first day of spring. We talked all about it. We discussed the spring equinox and signs of spring we would start seeing.  It is a time of renewal and excitement as the long days of playing outside for hours on end rapidly approach.

In general I don't "do crafts" with my kids. Crafts are too finite for us and we all tend to chafe at the restrictions of what it is supposed to be or look like. I provide a ton of art supplies and tell them to just go to town. Art is huge here, crafting, not so much. But Hannah asked to do something to commemorate the First Day of Spring. I painted up a few trees, laid out a ton of tissue paper, scissors, and glue and let them just have it.  It was a huge hit and they both enjoyed exploring their own interpretations.

Hannah is finally coming to be okay with her lack of perfection with scissor skills. Of course, since she has released herself from those demands, she has greatly improved.

Logan doesn't care as long as he can do art every day. I am surprised there wasn't a pound of glitter dumped on top of this at one point.

The truth was this day had not been going well. We had all been fussing and sniping at each other. Sitting down together to do this turned our moods around. My children are very generous with their praise and encouragement with each other and me. I love that about them. It is such a fabulous character trait.

I think one of the main reasons there has been so much discord is the lack of harmony between Hannah and me. Let me tell you, 6.5 has hit us HARD. My normally easy going girl is well, not so much anymore. It didn't help at all when I checked out over the winter fighting with depression. Cracks had appeared in a relationship normally tight and secure. I think it is easy to let those cracks become chasms. I don't want to let that happen. So it was time for me and my kitten girl to reconnect. What better than to get out in nature?

Yesterday, we left Logan with daddy and headed out to discover the first signs of spring and our devotion and love for each other. Hannah is such my girl, nature calms and centers her. Out there with the sun warming our faces, the birds greeting each other, and wind finally warm and gentle, we mended some of the fractures.

She loves to climb so much and has little fear. I love it.

She is getting shy for the camera but will let me take her picture if I ask.

My eagle-eyed girl found the first sign of spring.

I found the second.

Momma might be a wood nymph but she is all water sprite.

It was simply an amazing day. We needed this, she and I. This convinced me we need to slow our lives down even more. I need to focus on the relationships with my children even more than I do. It is important. I think relationship is what truly matters in the end.

So we found spring and we found each other. All in all, a very good day.

Free Play and Exploration

Tomorrow is predicted to be 70 degrees. After a long, hard winter that particular sentence sounds like heaven. I cannot wait to feel the sun on my face and the warm breeze playing with my hair. The thought relaxes my soul. It also brings me great happiness and joy because it is a major reason we chose to home school. We wanted our children to have hours upon hours to play outside and explore their world and how they relate to it in an unstructured and unfettered way.

I am not a fan of over scheduled, over managed childhood. I think children need the freedom to play and dream without the imposition of an adult telling them what to play and what to dream. We wanted to provide a life of running through the woods like wild children, coming home with more dirt on their clothes then left in the wood, and hours upon hours of tromping through creeks befriending, examining, and sometimes running away from the local denizens. In these times I step back and become an adviser when then need me.  I keep record of the questions and queries they will later explore on the computer and books. But mainly I simply stand a quiet witness as they start the path to unfurl this thing that is their own lives and thoughts. It isn't about me, and yes it is sometimes hard to realize my rather lack of importance in it all, but what a wonderful joy it is to watch it all happen at the very beginning.

We do keep up with our minimal curriculum year round. It works for us. Then we aren't reviewing after months of inactivity nor trying to "get back on schedule". We really aren't into schedules so we just sort of maintain the same flow all year round, enjoying and experiencing what life brings to us.

This really is my favorite time of year. I have started putting our favorite festivals on the calendar. Days out at amazing natural locations are being written on the calendar with friends.Special days of programs and education at the local bird and wolf sanctuaries are being noted. The children, and their parents, are excited with our coming adventures.

But my absolutely most longed for days will be the ones where we just take off in a piece of nature, near or far, to explore at our whim. Adventures will emerge, battles defying the wildest adult imagination will be fought, and memories will be made. I will curl up on a grassy bank on a sun warmed blanket and read tales of beauty and intrigue to my beloved children as they rest in the dappled light with the sound of water dancing over the rocks in stream as our backdrop. Thoughts of long, slow days rambling about wherever the fancy takes us entices my soul and beguiles my heart.

What an amazingly beautiful opportunity I have to experience this life and savor its wonder. It is a very good thing. May harmony find you my friends.

Teaching Self Discipline

Cowbell Half Marathon 2013

Self discipline is one of the most important traits I wish to impart to my children. It is right up there with love, compassion, authenticity, and generosity. I think self discipline and focus pulls together all the other wonderful traits and makes them useful in a practical manner. I know it is a cornerstone of my life and is responsible for the things I have accomplished with the most pride.

But what is the best way to teach this to our children?

Well, like everything you would like your children to become the best way to teach is by example. Living out these qualities so they can see them in action will stamp them on their young lives. We all know children become what they see much more readily than what they are told. Those lessons stick with them forever.

Both of my children would like to learn musical instruments. Hannah is eager to begin the piano and violin. She has asked about it for years. Together we made the decision to wait until she is 7. Daily practice is an important part of the learning process and I wanted her to be mature enough to handle those demands. In the mean time, I have started teaching myself piano. She sees me practice 20-30 minutes a day at least 5 times a week. We have discussed it many times as she sits beside me and watches my every move. She is learning how to learn. She is discovering what it takes to master a new skill. I don't need to lecture her because she is seeing it daily unfold.

It is with this in mind I am considering running another full marathon. The training is hard and takes a lot out of me. The entire family will have to make sacrifices. Both my husband and I are long distance runners so the scenario isn't unknown. I think it is of the utmost importance our children see us challenge ourselves and fight to achieve our goals. Training for a marathon isn't easy and is so far out of my comfort zone, but those exact traits are what makes this process an invaluable lesson to my children. I want them to see me fight, struggle, even consider giving up before I ultimately triumph.

Anytime I discover a trait or characteristic I would like to see my children acquire I take an honest look at myself. Am I emulating this trait? Am I living it out daily in their view? If I am not, how am I going to change my life so that I am?

I am not saying you have to run a marathon to teach your children.No, we all have to find our own path. But I will ask you, are you living out the qualities and characteristic you want your children to have? If not, what can you do about it?

Our Homeschool Flavor

One of the first things people ask you, or well those who know much about homeschooling ask, is what kind of homeschooler are you? (People who don't really know anything about homeschooling with ask you about socialization. We grit out teeth and try to smile through that one.)  We love labels don't we? I get that. Labels help us understand and categorize. Knowing the type of homeschool philosophy someone follows can tell you simply oodles of information about them. Unfortunately, we are the totally ambiguous yet very popular relaxed eclectic.

The translation of that ever popular reply is we do what we want, when we want. We happily cherry pick from a variety of styles and resources and aren't afraid to drop whatever if it isn't working. It is very free and we love it.

However, I can describe what it means to us in a bit more detail. There are a few things I think are important. Hannah practices math, reading, and writing three times a week. We read a never ending stream of books on whatever strikes her fancy. These books are almost always non fiction heavily focused on science with a smattering of different cultures thrown in. Both of my children watch more television than they majority of other homeschooling families but it is all commercial free and mostly educational. The Wild Kratts and Magic School Bus are frequent visitors and Carmen Sandiego often steals her way into our time and hearts.

I do think musical education is important and will encourage them both to take lessons on some instrument.  Their father and I both play instruments as adults so it is natural for them to find their instrument. Hannah is fixated on the piano and violin. Logan is insistent he learn the trombone. We havespent many afternoons with the St Louis Symphony.  Another avenue we are exploring is chess. They are at the beginnings of learning this amazing game. Although chess and music are different, I think they are crucial in learning to think. They help you train your mind and your focus. That is of quite important to us. If you can learn to control your mind and focus, you can do almost anything.

We love art. It is a family passion. Recently, we have given them access to all their art supplies. Yep, that means paint, glue, glitter, feathers, and all manner of messy things. It occurred to me that if I wanted to raise independent and competent children then I needed to treat them as independent and competent children. Yes, we will have messes, big ones. But they are doing amazingly well with this new freedom and responsibility.

Okay, so that is the nuts and bolts so to speak. The book work really only takes a few hours a week. Reading aloud and art takes as much time as it takes. Now to the crucial part of our homeschool curriculum, great big, huge blocks of open time for unstructured , open-ended self directed play. This to me is absolutely the most important component of all.

Experts are coming out of the wood work screaming that our children are nature deprived, play deprived, over-structured, and over-scheduled and they are right! Play is the most important work of childhood. Through play our children learn self control, negotiation, cooperation, self reliance, how to be a friend, how to resolved conflict, and so much more I cannot even write it all down.  Children learn so much when parents will just step back and let them learn.

Let me show you how we educated our children.

A long hike in the woods.

Painting with friends.

Visiting a baby elephant at least monthly to watch how she grew for the first year.

Finding an amazing group of friends to share adventures with and a yummy way to learn about the phases of the moon. 

Taking the time to explore, play, and really enjoy life.

There are so many pictures I could share here. This journey has already been incredible.. The point is all of these pictures either come about from child interest or are completely child led with parents trailing behind giving them as much freedom and space as they need. Our children direct 90% of their learning and they revel in it.

This is what we do. We love life. We love to learn. Our lives are not busy or stressful and we prefer it that way. Will this prepare our children to be successful in life? Yes, we think so but perhaps our version of success is different. We want them to think deeply and love well. We want them to care about themselves, others, animals, and the planet we live on each day. We want them to know you can choose joy each and every day and that life can be an amazing adventure if you choose.

John and I were once on a different path. We once thought status, materialism, and a higher salary was the key to happiness and oh so important. We wouldn't have told you that but we believe it. Then one day we choose a different path and that, my friends, has made all the difference.

May harmony find you and peace reside within you at all times.

Creative Tidy

For many years now I have clung to the idea my house needed to be really clean. Secretly, I think I thought if my house was not super clean I was somehow a failure. Probably to my detriment, I was able to keep up this delusion after the birth of my daughter. She was a pretty easy kid and has always self entertained. Therefore I was able to quietly have the smug mommy knowledge I could keep up with it all.

Now you all know life is just hilarious and there is a twisted sense of humor ever present in this universe.

So then I had my son. Now I will wait a moment of those of you who know me to stop laughing. Go ahead, wipe away the tears. I will wait. Needless to say, the birth of my son turned my world upside down and made me realize that the state of my home had a lot less to do with my acumen as a mother and homemaker and far more to do with a child who could happily self entertain.

In the past few years we have fallen into a new normal. The house was still clean but it took a lot more to keep up. I did lower my standards but I still spent a lot of time on keeping everything tidy.

However recently, I am reconsidering this mindset. We are now fully into homeschooling and our brand of homeschooling is very hands on and exploratory Or we can call it what it really is, messy. Add to that chaos my new found love of art and creativity and the result is more chaos and disorder than I am used to having in my home. But here is the thing, I think I am okay with it. That is a little crazy to me.

We are already a rather counter-culture family in many ways What if I take it a step further and just not worry so much about what our home looks like? What if I put a higher value on creativity and learning? What if I spend my already limited time focused more on what is really important to our family rather than on mopping? How revolutionary would that be?

Now for many of you, it wouldn't be. You are already there. I think I am pretty much there myself. The funny thing is I have had to let myself be okay with being okay with it? Isn't that crazy? Seriously? I have to allow myself to be okay with this intentional decision? Well, yes I do. I have moved far on my journey and I have dropped many societal expectations and baggage of my past but like an onion, I am still peeling back layers.

I am sure we will maintain a foundation of clean. I doubt we get to the point where the neighbors are having a secret meeting over calling the health department. Perhaps the biggest change is my mindset. I want to be okay with leaving the intricate castle system the children built together in the living room for a few days. I don't want to stress that my current mixed media art project is spread out some place for many days as I work on it. This is good stuff. Learning is happening here. Creation is being achieved right here, right now. Is getting everything cleaned up right away really that important? No, I don't think so either.

To Begin With

Last week I took my children to an amazing place, the City Museum in St Louis, MO. It was once a huge, rambling shoe factory. Today it is a mecca of fairly dangerous child play in a society of everything is padded and rounded so no one can possible get hurt. It is a surreal urban fantasy of upcyled old materials and architectural features lending themselves to be climbing, slid upon, and jumped off of with wild abandon. There are lots of opportunities for bruises and scrapes. My children ADORE this place.

I was going to being this blog with an introduction of me and my family. I would tell you how I pulled out of corporate America and found I actually have a heart for simple, domestic life. Perhaps I would describe how we came to homeschool. I don't know. It would have been neat and tidy and got the message across. But really, it doesn't matter to much. You will probably piece the story together and if not, well it isn't that important. Because you see it was on that visit to the not so safe museum I had a moment that encapsulated why I do what I do.

We were all sitting together watching a Circus Harmony. Circus Harmony  or the Everyday Circus is a fantastic group operating in the City Museum. Here is their mission statement.

OUR MISSIONCircus Harmony teaches the art of life through circus education. We work to build character and expand community for youth of all ages, cultures, abilities and backgrounds. Through teaching and performance of circus arts, we help people defy gravity, soar with confidence, and leap over social barriers, all at the same time.

Isn't that cool? They bring kids and people from all different walks of life together to perform. They are using this amazing tool to bring peace and harmony. I love it. 

But anyway, there we sat and I was marveling my children were watching this performance rather than sitting in a classroom somewhere. My daughter's face was lit up with joy. She laughed so easily and openly. My son is much more reserved and watched quietly but with great intensity. His lack of animation belied that fact he was soaking it all up, every last drop. He astounded me that day. My shy little guy actually went on stage in front of the crowd at a clown's invitation. I realized he is really growing up. 

They both are, growing up, and I don't want to miss it. I love going on adventures with them. I love seeing their expressions as a box of glitter accidentally explodes in the dining room and we are all covered, laughing with a sparkly mess. I adore they can become completely enmeshed in exploring a creek and I don't have to tell them it is time to do homework. 

The experience at the City Museum demonstrated so many of the reasons we homeschool and I don't work outside the home. We have the opportunity to follow their interests and learn however they best learn. That day they played so hard they staggered out later that afternoon barely under their own steam. We did art for hours with professional artists. They played and worked together with kids completely different then them and thought nothing of it. 

Now I know, you can get these experiences while using tradintional school programs but I don't see how that is possible and still maintain a simple and slow paced life At least, it wouldn't be for us. Living a slow, simple life is extremely important to us. In this age of hurry up everywhere and the worship of busyness, we just want something different. We want slow. We want to tell our kids, go ahead and look at the dandelion, we have time. We'll be over here watching the sunset.

So this is our life. We are together a lot. It is not always perfect. We fight. We disagree. But more often we love so deeply and truly enjoy each other's company. I love being with my family. Let me tell you, I am a huge introvert, so that is saying something. I am so excited to discover the adventure that is our life. I would like to invite you to enjoy our escapades with us through this blog.