He moves so much more slowly now. Over seventy years of burning bright, full of energy, laughter, and orneriness, gone after this last series of mini strokes. His frail frame slowly shuffles along. His loud voice that once carried across a store now quieted to a whisper I have to lean in to hear. I slow my steps trying not be obvious. His body is failing and there are days I can see his mind is following but the flicker of his old pride remains. I would not strip that dignity from him if I had to crawl behind him.
We are here to see his brother, his baby brother. The spoiled one. The one my grandmother strained soup for well into his twenties. He lies here with the possibility of renal failure looming over the family. These prognoses no longer shock. Oh they still hurt and rip at your heart, but no, not shock. They are hitting this extended family like shrapnel from the bomb of aging. They come weekly now.
Not long ago I sat for hours by his bedside in a similar institution. Slowly the seconds turned to minutes which gave way to hours. I learned to live with my heart constantly half way to my throat and a stomach waiting for the moment it was destined to drop. Strange enough, I found a peace within this abnormal way to spend my days. I found stillness.
As we enter the lobby, the old flirt rises up as he finds the prettiest girl to ask directions to the ICU. His voice once rich with charm and persuasion now trickles out. She is kind and gentile and makes him smile. I am so grateful for that gift.
Our pilgrimage leads us to a darkened room with an old man lying in a bed surround by wires and machines. He is so small. I remember him when he was so strong. He could easily throw me over his head. I remember when they were both tall and strong standing in their mother's yard telling tall tales, gossip, and memories of youth. Little did they know that time was their youth extended.
His little brother sleeps, pain evident on his face. He eases into the chair pulled close to the bed. His wrinkled, veined, and bruised hand closes over his little brother's ever so slightly less wrinkled, veined, and bruised hand. Soon the younger man wakes and realizes more family have come to sit vigil at his bed. There are jokes and teasing but they are just so quiet now.
The hours slow spin away. They talk of love. They talk of life. They talk of everything that truly matters and it isn't what most people would think.
I sit silently, perhaps even somewhat translucent, in the corner, knitting. I don't know if they can even see me anymore because they are so deeply involved with themselves and their relationship. This is how it should be.
My part is to sit. I sit and listen. I hold space for these men as they near the end. I bear witness to their lives, what it was, what it is, and what it has meant to them. I am the conscious witness taking in all that knowledge and experience, and it means so very much. This is my job more often than I though possible of late.
We need to be those witnesses. We need to hold this space. Shying away from death and sickness leaves us shallow, not finished. We need to experience these moments of heart rending, tragic beauty to acquire the depth needed to live a full life. Otherwise we are just skipping along the surface never really diving into the depth of emotion and feeling that is there. Many years ago I held my brother's hand as he passed from this life. You may think it strange but I can attest that moment, that experience remains one of the most beautiful in my memory.
Even with this knowledge and realization, it is still so hard. I have excused myself to the bathroom when my breath catches and I know the fullness of my emotion and impending grief threatens to swamp me. Oh it is hard. But I gather myself and walk back to my chair, my part.
For he is my father and I will hold this space for him.
Friday, November 27, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Fresh Starts
It has been so very long since I have written for public consumption. The past however long has been filled with chaos and confusion in our lives. There have been some amazing times. But the simple fact has emerged that somewhere along the line, we had dove head first off the path we set for our family. Just boom!!
We had set out to live an unusual life. We did not want to live a mainstream life. We did not want to be guided by materialism, consumerism, what other people thought, and the normal definition of success. Nope, not us. But as you can guess, that is exactly what we did. Not surprisingly, we managed to hide this fact from ourselves just super well. Woo hoo for self deception, right?
Well, the time came when the kids and I were on the verge of a nervous collapse from constant stress and more terrifyingly, my husband was have chest pains and vomiting from the stress of his job that he HAD to have to support our lifestyle. You know, the lifestyle that we never wanted in the first place but managed to have anyway. We were dying as a family and honestly, my husband was possibly just dying or at least getting ready to have a major heart attack in his 40's.
So we quit. We chucked it all in. He quit his job and started his own business. We piled up the trappings of that life we did not want and set fire to it. Figuratively, although the kids have learned to make fire with flint and for some reason fairy wings.
It has been terrifying...and beautiful... and heart wrenching...and tears in my eyes amazing.
I would like to share this part of our journey with you. I have no idea where it is going. There is very little plan. In fact, living in the here and now has been a keystone of our new life.
Nope, I have no idea where it is going but I cannot wait to see where the adventure take us.
We had set out to live an unusual life. We did not want to live a mainstream life. We did not want to be guided by materialism, consumerism, what other people thought, and the normal definition of success. Nope, not us. But as you can guess, that is exactly what we did. Not surprisingly, we managed to hide this fact from ourselves just super well. Woo hoo for self deception, right?
Well, the time came when the kids and I were on the verge of a nervous collapse from constant stress and more terrifyingly, my husband was have chest pains and vomiting from the stress of his job that he HAD to have to support our lifestyle. You know, the lifestyle that we never wanted in the first place but managed to have anyway. We were dying as a family and honestly, my husband was possibly just dying or at least getting ready to have a major heart attack in his 40's.
So we quit. We chucked it all in. He quit his job and started his own business. We piled up the trappings of that life we did not want and set fire to it. Figuratively, although the kids have learned to make fire with flint and for some reason fairy wings.
It has been terrifying...and beautiful... and heart wrenching...and tears in my eyes amazing.
I would like to share this part of our journey with you. I have no idea where it is going. There is very little plan. In fact, living in the here and now has been a keystone of our new life.
Nope, I have no idea where it is going but I cannot wait to see where the adventure take us.
Friday, December 26, 2014
The Importance of Beau
Five days ago while out on a long run I encountered a dying dog. This beautiful and loving chocolate lab had been reduced to wandering, scared and alone. He was staggering and his back legs were no longer function properly. He ribs stuck out and he stumbled around. He was dying. He would die alone, scared, and suffering. I slowly walked this broken dog back to my home and brought him into our family.
The difference is amazing. He is eating and drinking well. He sleeps a lot. Beau, or the more formal Beauregard, is an old man and doesn't have a lot of get up and go. But he is alert and no longer seems to be disoriented. He loves us all so much and his gratitude fills my heart until I think it might rupture.
It isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Because his kidneys were shutting down, he pees everywhere and a lot. I do many, many loads of towels and have mopped more in the past five days than the entire six months preceding. We pulled his water on Christmas Eve to help with the nightly needs to go out constantly. First thing Christmas morning he gorged himself and vomited half a gallon of water all over the Christmas presents. But these are some of the challenge of rescuing a dog this sick and we were fully aware.
But what I really wanted to talk about is why. I think the why is incredibly important. The reason I took Beau home to nurse him back to health is because in my heart I had no other choice. My husband and I are deeply committed to animal welfare. All of our furry babies are rescues in one form or another. The suffering of an animals is like a knife to the gut for us both. Caring for animals is one of our deep and abiding passions.
Following our passion is one of the most important things we can do in our life.
I have a niggling feeling that each and everyone of us are embedded with specific passions. They are not the same but they each have a purpose of making our world a better place. If we choose to repressed and ignore these passions then we are both denying the world of the good we are capable of doing and we are denying ourselves the opportunity to live in the realm of our higher self. If each of us were to follow our given passions, I believe the world would be a very different place.
We have become so caught up in our fast pace, driven world. Our version of success is often detrimental to our own welfare and relationships. I am concerned many can no longer tune into the small,quiet voice of truth within ourselves. This voice can lead us on the path of truth and wisdom. Following this path will ultimate lead to our higher self and purpose. Living a life of doing good and spreading seeds of truth and love as we move throughout the world. The path leading to true and non-ego laden happiness.
I believe small incidents in our life are ultimately connected. They are often lessons and teaching moments. In the life of parents they have a dual purpose, they can educated you as a person while serving as examples for our children. Watching us and how act create the most influential moments for our children. Our actions will stick with our children far longer and have a deeper effect than our words ever will. If we follow our passion then our children have a greater chance of ultimately following their own.
It is also important to understand that although you make a difference, there is a good chance you will not solve a problem alone. It is imperative to see your contribution and its relevance. or the chances of burnout is high. Do you know the story of the man the starfish? As the tide went out, there were thousands of star fish stranded to die on the beach. A man was slowly moving along throwing them back into the ocean one by one. Another man discovered him and exclaimed, "It is useless!!! You will never save them all." The first man continued his progression undeterred. As he threw the next one back into the salty deep he quietly said, "I can save this one." You must remember each one you save and help matters.
In the end, Beau may die very soon. No amount of money spent nor care given can guarantee he will fully recover. We have been honest with the children in case this happens. I want them prepared. But no matter what, he life is worth it. At the very least, he will die surround by love, warmth, and comfort and that matters oh so very much.
If I had not brought him home to care for then I would respect myself less. I would know I did not live up to my ethics and convictions. I would not be honoring my path and passions. I would not be the person I know I can be. I would be denying my higher self.
No, I cannot rescue them all but I can rescue the ones fate brings my way. I can rescue the ones my quiet, inner voice tells me, "This one. This one is for your care. You must take this one into your heart. Celebrate his life and mourn his eventual passing. Show him love."
Besides, how could your turn this face down.
The difference is amazing. He is eating and drinking well. He sleeps a lot. Beau, or the more formal Beauregard, is an old man and doesn't have a lot of get up and go. But he is alert and no longer seems to be disoriented. He loves us all so much and his gratitude fills my heart until I think it might rupture.
It isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Because his kidneys were shutting down, he pees everywhere and a lot. I do many, many loads of towels and have mopped more in the past five days than the entire six months preceding. We pulled his water on Christmas Eve to help with the nightly needs to go out constantly. First thing Christmas morning he gorged himself and vomited half a gallon of water all over the Christmas presents. But these are some of the challenge of rescuing a dog this sick and we were fully aware.
But what I really wanted to talk about is why. I think the why is incredibly important. The reason I took Beau home to nurse him back to health is because in my heart I had no other choice. My husband and I are deeply committed to animal welfare. All of our furry babies are rescues in one form or another. The suffering of an animals is like a knife to the gut for us both. Caring for animals is one of our deep and abiding passions.
Following our passion is one of the most important things we can do in our life.
I have a niggling feeling that each and everyone of us are embedded with specific passions. They are not the same but they each have a purpose of making our world a better place. If we choose to repressed and ignore these passions then we are both denying the world of the good we are capable of doing and we are denying ourselves the opportunity to live in the realm of our higher self. If each of us were to follow our given passions, I believe the world would be a very different place.
We have become so caught up in our fast pace, driven world. Our version of success is often detrimental to our own welfare and relationships. I am concerned many can no longer tune into the small,quiet voice of truth within ourselves. This voice can lead us on the path of truth and wisdom. Following this path will ultimate lead to our higher self and purpose. Living a life of doing good and spreading seeds of truth and love as we move throughout the world. The path leading to true and non-ego laden happiness.
I believe small incidents in our life are ultimately connected. They are often lessons and teaching moments. In the life of parents they have a dual purpose, they can educated you as a person while serving as examples for our children. Watching us and how act create the most influential moments for our children. Our actions will stick with our children far longer and have a deeper effect than our words ever will. If we follow our passion then our children have a greater chance of ultimately following their own.
It is also important to understand that although you make a difference, there is a good chance you will not solve a problem alone. It is imperative to see your contribution and its relevance. or the chances of burnout is high. Do you know the story of the man the starfish? As the tide went out, there were thousands of star fish stranded to die on the beach. A man was slowly moving along throwing them back into the ocean one by one. Another man discovered him and exclaimed, "It is useless!!! You will never save them all." The first man continued his progression undeterred. As he threw the next one back into the salty deep he quietly said, "I can save this one." You must remember each one you save and help matters.
In the end, Beau may die very soon. No amount of money spent nor care given can guarantee he will fully recover. We have been honest with the children in case this happens. I want them prepared. But no matter what, he life is worth it. At the very least, he will die surround by love, warmth, and comfort and that matters oh so very much.
If I had not brought him home to care for then I would respect myself less. I would know I did not live up to my ethics and convictions. I would not be honoring my path and passions. I would not be the person I know I can be. I would be denying my higher self.
No, I cannot rescue them all but I can rescue the ones fate brings my way. I can rescue the ones my quiet, inner voice tells me, "This one. This one is for your care. You must take this one into your heart. Celebrate his life and mourn his eventual passing. Show him love."
Besides, how could your turn this face down.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
The Importance of Fresh Air and Nature
Throughout the years I have tweaked and played with different variations in our lives to find our sweet spot. We all have such widely varying personalities and needs. It can be hard to find the balance leading to harmony in our family. I love harmony. I love peace. Therefore I have pursued this modern day Elysian Field with great vigor.
There are many important factors. We all need good nutrition. I am a huge believer in diet for health and wellness. If I feel off balance the first thing I examine is the foods I have been eating. Spending the time to nurture and grow our family relationships is something not to be ignored. I cannot stress the importance of this. It all goes back to the saying, "Grass is greenest where you water it.". Long story short, there are a multitude of things, small and large, contributing to our family health and wellness.
There is one thing pulling all of these individual aspects together resulting in the whole being greater than the sum of its parts, fresh air and nature. Even more important, physical activity in fresh air.
When we fail to have adequate fresh air the results descend upon us almost immediately. Everyone is cranky and impatient. Learning slows drastically. We are more tired and bored. The restless feeling permeates the house. We all start looking glassy-eyed and distracted. It just ain't good.
Years ago, children were able to get plenty of outdoor exercise with neighborhood friends. It just isn't the case anymore. We can argue about safety versus free range, being over-scheduled versus free play, the influence of technology, or really a myriad of events culminating in the change of childhood as we know it. We can argue it or we can do something about it. Our family has decided to just do something about it.
Summer, spring, and fall is relatively easy. All of the following occurs but minus the factor I am inherently resistant to going out in the cold. I admit it. Winter is not my forte. But for the sanity and health of my I have committed myself to pull on my big girl panties and DEAL WITH IT.
One of the elements that greatly eases this process is we are an active family. My husband and I love to go out and try new things. We love to be active. We are intrepid explorers. The children have just grown up with this being their normal. I truly think it helps a lot.
The added benefit is many outdoor activities help my children find their inner confidence and competence. Actually, it is the same for me as well.
There are many important factors. We all need good nutrition. I am a huge believer in diet for health and wellness. If I feel off balance the first thing I examine is the foods I have been eating. Spending the time to nurture and grow our family relationships is something not to be ignored. I cannot stress the importance of this. It all goes back to the saying, "Grass is greenest where you water it.". Long story short, there are a multitude of things, small and large, contributing to our family health and wellness.
There is one thing pulling all of these individual aspects together resulting in the whole being greater than the sum of its parts, fresh air and nature. Even more important, physical activity in fresh air.
When we fail to have adequate fresh air the results descend upon us almost immediately. Everyone is cranky and impatient. Learning slows drastically. We are more tired and bored. The restless feeling permeates the house. We all start looking glassy-eyed and distracted. It just ain't good.
Years ago, children were able to get plenty of outdoor exercise with neighborhood friends. It just isn't the case anymore. We can argue about safety versus free range, being over-scheduled versus free play, the influence of technology, or really a myriad of events culminating in the change of childhood as we know it. We can argue it or we can do something about it. Our family has decided to just do something about it.
Summer, spring, and fall is relatively easy. All of the following occurs but minus the factor I am inherently resistant to going out in the cold. I admit it. Winter is not my forte. But for the sanity and health of my I have committed myself to pull on my big girl panties and DEAL WITH IT.
One of the elements that greatly eases this process is we are an active family. My husband and I love to go out and try new things. We love to be active. We are intrepid explorers. The children have just grown up with this being their normal. I truly think it helps a lot.
Trying out new hobbies together gives us a focus.
The added benefit is many outdoor activities help my children find their inner confidence and competence. Actually, it is the same for me as well.
The exploration of unknown paths is a favorite.
There is always the option of bundling up and walking around our small town together. It isn't exactly nature filled but it will do this trick in a pinch. Besides, it is always a lot of fun. They usually get hot chocolate at our local independent coffee shop towards the end of our wanderings.
But our favorites adventures are through the woods alone or with friends. Brief moments in time to get out and listen to the sounds of nature and in the quiet, perhaps hear our soul a little bit more clarity.
I love how my children are in nature. They seem to be just more, more curious, more adventurous, more engaged, more imaginative. Nature brings out a calm energy in all of us. Laughter comes more easily and love seems to flow more naturally. These moments are terribly precious to me and I am not exactly sentimental. I know when I think back to our early days as a family, these are moments I will remember the most.
It is out in nature many of the unnecessary layers fall away for me. It is there I can best see the simple and raw beauty of life. Life is messy and painful at times but the ultimate reality is we are here to love each other and connect deeply and truly with at least a few other people. We are here to stand witness to each other's lives and stories. This is ultimately the most important reason being outside matters deeply to me. Hopefully, I am passing on this glorious experience to my children as well.
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Embracing the Rhythm of the Season
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Winter has come early this year. According to the Farmer's Almanac, it will be a cold, snowy season for us. Winter has always been rough for me. I struggle with Seasonal Affected Disorder and have a history of general depression. I often enter this time like a warrior prepped for battle. I have my extra B and D3 vitamins at the ready,. I bulk buy epsom salt and stock my essential oils for to baths to lift my mood and saturate myself with magnesium. I organize my schedule to include yoga, physical activity especially running, and forays into the cold, sunlight days for fresh, rejuvenating air. These preparations get me through the winter but I feel battered and weary at the end.
This year my thoughts and focus is a bit different. What if instead of struggling against the very nature of the season, I just gave myself over to it? Oh, the vitamins and fresh air will still be important but what if I just embraced this time of year.
This idea came to me one morning. I woke early and saw the neighbor kids.waiting in the cold and dark for the bus. You see, this is one of our favorite parts of home school. We wake up in accordance to our natural rhythms. Now those natural rhythms are pretty dang early but there is no frantic rush to our morning. Instead we snuggle on the couch wrapped in blankets as we slowly open ourselves to the day. What if I treated the coming season the same way and with the same calm deliberation?
I am a driven and focused person. It is impossible, or at least silly, to criticize my children for their almost obsessive mindset on a given subject because they come by it naturally. Watching them has helped me know myself even better. We are driven to discover, to understand, and to succeed. Oh our success doesn't look like the model touted by the word, but it is strict, rigid and disciplined in our own minds. This all comes together to mean it is hard for me to slow down and relax. It also means it is very, very good for me to do so. I can drive myself past normal stops and burn myself out until I am just a shell. That doesn't benefit anyone or anything.
Perhaps and extended rest is just what I need, what the whole family needs. Winter is a time for rest and reflection. All of nature slows down, sleeps, and hibernates. It is a time to turn inward. What if allowing myself to be slower, more sleepy, is exactly what I need to be rejuvenated? Taking time to read more, reflect more, focus on slow, methodical knitting, practicing slow yoga, and increasing mindful meditation. Just curling up more often to read with the children would be a benefit and a balm to my soul.
I believe things come together for a reason. I have been interested in pursing slow education even more. I will write about hat particular subject in the near future. But it is instinctively coming together and settling into the foundation of our lives. It just feels right. I find the world is speeding up around us as I deliberately and intentional apply the brakes to our lives more and more. It is a very good thing for our family.
So unlike Frost, I think I shall divest our lives, temporarily, of extraneous commitments and instead literally and figuratively explore that woods so lovely, dark and deep.
Here is a little something to keep you warm on these cold, snowy evenings.
My Favorite Hot Chocolate
1 1/2 cups almond milk
1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1/4 teas of cinnamon
a pinch of cayenne pepper
Whisk all ingredients to together in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Stir frequently until chocolate chips are melted and liquid is steaming.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
A New Beginning
I created this space some time ago with a vague idea of sharing our lives. I did not have the proper focus so I did not follow through. My tendency to over-compartmentalize also interfered. Perhaps the main underlying reason was it was just not the right time.
Well, the time is right now.
This blog is about us in all our quirky glory. I posted recently on Facebook that some days I feel like I am running a commune for brilliant but reclusive, utterly focused introverts. This is the story of our "commune", how we live, how we play, how we educate, and yes, my friends wanting my recipes, how we eat.
Since the children have been born, we have followed a very play based learning philosophy. Little ones are natural scientists and explorers. If they are are allowed freedom and space, they are their own best educators with parents playing the role of facilitator and only when needed. For the early years, this method worked well for us and they thrived. We were often muddy, dirty, tired, and happy.
Somewhere before Hannah turned 7, I had a period of doubt and decided we needed more formal structure for her education. I implemented rather minimal traditional schooling. This decision brought us to a screaming halt. She hated it. Very quickly our mornings became a struggle. I knew she was prone to perfectionism but the fear of even the smallest mistake hung over her like a shadow. Due to the loathing of a limited amount formal school work, her natural learning and exploration ceased almost altogether.
I was destroying the natural joy and desire to learn in my child. It wasn't worth it, not at all. So I tossed the curriculum and resumed our journey of child led learning. Peace and calm returned, at least as far as learning went, to our home.
So what does this look like? First off, the kids have scads of free time to do, well....whatever. All of our art supplies, even my "grown up" paint are accessible for them to use. There are days Logan spends hours working on art. He has raided my pantry to create new mediums in which to use in his projects. His ideas astound me.
There are science activities everywhere. I try to make myself available to play lab assistant/guide. Sometimes I am needed and sometimes Hannah is in her own head pursing whatever idea has taken hold of her for that day (week, month, whatever). Hannah could work with science experiments for hours.
Minecraft is a new addition to our home. Hannah has taken lead on this. She diligently searches out video tutorials to make whatever she has decided she needs in her world. I will admit, I am useless in this. Thankfully her father has experience with online gaming. I love watching her methodically find the resources she needs to achieve her goals, study and learn them, and then implement the technique.
Books are everywhere in our home. I am a voracious reader. Even though I am always looking for ways to simply our lives and embrace a personal form of minimalism, well I will always horde books. We spend huge chunks of time snuggled up on my bed reading literature, myths, fairy tales, a steady stream of science books, and whatever else strikes our fancy. It is one of my favorites things to do as a family. The coming cold of winter and early darkness beckons to us to do this even more.
The last main component contributing to our lives is nature. We spend so much time outdoors. The only thing I don't have is 10 acres of woods behind my house for the kids to explore and lose themselves in their imagination. This past weekend was a perfect example of how I balance out that deficiency. We tramped through the a local state park searching for geodes to study and boulders to climb.
I love my kids set their own physical boundaries. Trying very hard to not helicopter parent has enabled them to know their own limitations. They tend to push themselves but instinctively, well usually, know when to back off. Yes, we suffer from bruises and scrapes. There is a very good chance someone will end up with a broke something eventually. Nonetheless, the experience is invaluable and will contribute to them being a self reliant, confident, and competent adults.
After a day of running through the woods like the wild heathens we are, nothing tastes better than homemade soup. This Creamy Mushroom Wild Rice Soup was perfect.
Creamy Mushroom and Wild Rice Soup
1 yellow onion diced
2 carrots diced
16 oz of mushrooms
4 Tablespoons of Vegan Butter (or regular butter)
40oz of Vegetable Broth
1 cup of wild rice
1 teaspoon of salt
Several twists of black pepper
3 small stalks of Rosemary pulled off stem and run through with a knife
Cashew Cream Sauce (recipe follows)
Melt Butter in large heavy saucepan. Saute onion, mushroom, and carrots with salt and pepper until just this side of tender. Transfer into a stockpot. Add in veggie broth and rosemary and bring to a boil. Stir in wild rice and simmer for 45 minutes. Stir in cashew cream and heat through. This will thicken very quickly so stir often and keep an eye on it.. Check taste for preferred seasonings. This soup is amazing with a hot, fresh from the oven loaf of crusty french bread. You can slave all day on that or just use the handy dandy take and bake.
Cashew Cream Sauce
1/2 cup raw cashews soak in water for several hours
1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
3 teaspoons of garlic
1 Tablespoon of olive oil
2 Tablespoons of nutritional yeast
1 teaspoon of salt
several cranks of pepper
Combine everything in the blender and blend for several minutes until very smooth.
This soup provided a wonderful end to a wonderful day.
Well, the time is right now.
This blog is about us in all our quirky glory. I posted recently on Facebook that some days I feel like I am running a commune for brilliant but reclusive, utterly focused introverts. This is the story of our "commune", how we live, how we play, how we educate, and yes, my friends wanting my recipes, how we eat.
Since the children have been born, we have followed a very play based learning philosophy. Little ones are natural scientists and explorers. If they are are allowed freedom and space, they are their own best educators with parents playing the role of facilitator and only when needed. For the early years, this method worked well for us and they thrived. We were often muddy, dirty, tired, and happy.
Somewhere before Hannah turned 7, I had a period of doubt and decided we needed more formal structure for her education. I implemented rather minimal traditional schooling. This decision brought us to a screaming halt. She hated it. Very quickly our mornings became a struggle. I knew she was prone to perfectionism but the fear of even the smallest mistake hung over her like a shadow. Due to the loathing of a limited amount formal school work, her natural learning and exploration ceased almost altogether.
I was destroying the natural joy and desire to learn in my child. It wasn't worth it, not at all. So I tossed the curriculum and resumed our journey of child led learning. Peace and calm returned, at least as far as learning went, to our home.
So what does this look like? First off, the kids have scads of free time to do, well....whatever. All of our art supplies, even my "grown up" paint are accessible for them to use. There are days Logan spends hours working on art. He has raided my pantry to create new mediums in which to use in his projects. His ideas astound me.
There are science activities everywhere. I try to make myself available to play lab assistant/guide. Sometimes I am needed and sometimes Hannah is in her own head pursing whatever idea has taken hold of her for that day (week, month, whatever). Hannah could work with science experiments for hours.
Minecraft is a new addition to our home. Hannah has taken lead on this. She diligently searches out video tutorials to make whatever she has decided she needs in her world. I will admit, I am useless in this. Thankfully her father has experience with online gaming. I love watching her methodically find the resources she needs to achieve her goals, study and learn them, and then implement the technique.
Books are everywhere in our home. I am a voracious reader. Even though I am always looking for ways to simply our lives and embrace a personal form of minimalism, well I will always horde books. We spend huge chunks of time snuggled up on my bed reading literature, myths, fairy tales, a steady stream of science books, and whatever else strikes our fancy. It is one of my favorites things to do as a family. The coming cold of winter and early darkness beckons to us to do this even more.
The last main component contributing to our lives is nature. We spend so much time outdoors. The only thing I don't have is 10 acres of woods behind my house for the kids to explore and lose themselves in their imagination. This past weekend was a perfect example of how I balance out that deficiency. We tramped through the a local state park searching for geodes to study and boulders to climb.
I love my kids set their own physical boundaries. Trying very hard to not helicopter parent has enabled them to know their own limitations. They tend to push themselves but instinctively, well usually, know when to back off. Yes, we suffer from bruises and scrapes. There is a very good chance someone will end up with a broke something eventually. Nonetheless, the experience is invaluable and will contribute to them being a self reliant, confident, and competent adults.
After a day of running through the woods like the wild heathens we are, nothing tastes better than homemade soup. This Creamy Mushroom Wild Rice Soup was perfect.
Creamy Mushroom and Wild Rice Soup
1 yellow onion diced
2 carrots diced
16 oz of mushrooms
4 Tablespoons of Vegan Butter (or regular butter)
40oz of Vegetable Broth
1 cup of wild rice
1 teaspoon of salt
Several twists of black pepper
3 small stalks of Rosemary pulled off stem and run through with a knife
Cashew Cream Sauce (recipe follows)
Melt Butter in large heavy saucepan. Saute onion, mushroom, and carrots with salt and pepper until just this side of tender. Transfer into a stockpot. Add in veggie broth and rosemary and bring to a boil. Stir in wild rice and simmer for 45 minutes. Stir in cashew cream and heat through. This will thicken very quickly so stir often and keep an eye on it.. Check taste for preferred seasonings. This soup is amazing with a hot, fresh from the oven loaf of crusty french bread. You can slave all day on that or just use the handy dandy take and bake.
Cashew Cream Sauce
1/2 cup raw cashews soak in water for several hours
1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
3 teaspoons of garlic
1 Tablespoon of olive oil
2 Tablespoons of nutritional yeast
1 teaspoon of salt
several cranks of pepper
Combine everything in the blender and blend for several minutes until very smooth.
This soup provided a wonderful end to a wonderful day.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Fireflies
I had this great post forming in my head about nature, Charlotte Mason, and child led learning. I will get to that but something came up.
We strive to live an intentional life. We try to focus on the moment and celebrate the ordinary. Of course, we slip out of that and let concerns and the what will happen of tomorrow slip in. Recently I had a major health scare in my life. It was the catalyst for a sharp refocusing of what is truly important.
I am not trying to be morbid or shocking but we would do well to realize we have a very limited time here in this world. Although we all need to find a way to support ourselves and care for our responsibilities, I think it would be wise to truly review our lives and decide if our wants and needs are legitimate or if we might just be mixing them up a bit. When I thought I might lose my life I didn't think of the cars I wouldn't get to drive or the homes I wouldn't own. I didn't regret the luxuries I didn't sample. Nope, all I could think of was I wanted more time with those I loved. I wanted more time to develop deeper and more authentic relationships. It was ALL I wanted. Nothing else. Crazy how it all comes together in an instant.
Last night before bed my daughter saw the age old dance of the fireflies begin in our backyard. Bedtime was pushed back so we could all go stand on the back stairs in the dark to watch this beloved memory of childhood. As we stood in reverent silence I found I watched my children's faces more than the light show. It was magical. Their beautiful faces lit up with animation as they watched.
I told my daughter some people believed they were fairies and could grant your wishes. She whispered quietly in awe, "Oh we are so lucky. We are so lucky to be here. We are just so lucky to see this."
Yes baby, yes we are.
We strive to live an intentional life. We try to focus on the moment and celebrate the ordinary. Of course, we slip out of that and let concerns and the what will happen of tomorrow slip in. Recently I had a major health scare in my life. It was the catalyst for a sharp refocusing of what is truly important.
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
Robert Herrick
I am not trying to be morbid or shocking but we would do well to realize we have a very limited time here in this world. Although we all need to find a way to support ourselves and care for our responsibilities, I think it would be wise to truly review our lives and decide if our wants and needs are legitimate or if we might just be mixing them up a bit. When I thought I might lose my life I didn't think of the cars I wouldn't get to drive or the homes I wouldn't own. I didn't regret the luxuries I didn't sample. Nope, all I could think of was I wanted more time with those I loved. I wanted more time to develop deeper and more authentic relationships. It was ALL I wanted. Nothing else. Crazy how it all comes together in an instant.
Last night before bed my daughter saw the age old dance of the fireflies begin in our backyard. Bedtime was pushed back so we could all go stand on the back stairs in the dark to watch this beloved memory of childhood. As we stood in reverent silence I found I watched my children's faces more than the light show. It was magical. Their beautiful faces lit up with animation as they watched.
I told my daughter some people believed they were fairies and could grant your wishes. She whispered quietly in awe, "Oh we are so lucky. We are so lucky to be here. We are just so lucky to see this."
Yes baby, yes we are.
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